March Blandness

With the biggest Viking news of the last week being the Vikings' quizzical choices to retain the services of Naufahu Tahi and give Cedric Griffin bajillions of dollars in a multi-year deal (which I think is not actually that bad a deal since they don't seem to have much else to do with their cap money), I haven't exactly been inspired to make the next great blog post lately. So, in lieu of actual good writing, research, and journalistic integrity, I'm just going to make fun of people.

It could be worse. I could tell you about my fantasy baseball team again.

* First Gus Frerotte said he would have won the Vikings' playoff game against the Eagles, and now 41-year-old Jeff George says he would have led the Vikings to the Super Bowl. I'm not the world's biggest Tarvaris Jackson fan, but what does it mean when quarterbacks 15 years older than you say they're better than you? Other than the fact that senelity is setting in early for Mr. George.

This just in: Fran Tarkenton, Tommy Kramer, and Joe Kapp have all announced that they could have led the Vikings to the Super Bowl last year. Wade Wilson could not be reached for comment.

* Ray Edwards' $221,322 bonus actually breaks down like this:

+$421,322 for playing time
+$50,000 for that crushing hit on Jeff Garcia
-$250,000 for his ridiculous claim that he would break Michael Strahan's sack record

* So I've been spending some of my days counting autograph cards for Press Pass Inc. (as outlined before). In addition to the normal signatures, players are encouraged to include a few "inscriptions," or signatures with added messages, like "Go (insert team name)" or a nickname or, in one guy's case, a Bible verse.

I counted BJ Raji's cards last week. Raji played for the Boston College Eagles and is projected to be a top 10 pick. But either he should have spent more time in the classroom and less time on the practice field, or the Eagles have an in-joke among their players because his inscription was:

"Sore Eagles"

A comment on this blog post says Raji scored an 8 (out of a possible 50) on his Wonderlic test. If true, I agree with the commenter that I'd love to see him drafted by the Packers.

* I like hockey. Really, I do. But these ratings are poo. I remember reading an article in Sports Illustrated back in 1993 about how hockey was surpassing basketball as the nation's #3 team sport, behind football and baseball. Yeah, about that...

* Ow. Ow ow ow. If that were Shaq, though, he probably would have shattered the entire backboard.

* Not really making fun of this guy, except in a kinda "How on earth do you do that?" way, but I saw pro bowler Jason Belmonte this weekend on TV. He uses two hands. And apparently it works for him.