Minnesota 23, Pauluscuse 20 (OT)

Just wondering if anyone else caught the game between the University of Minnesota and the Pauluscuse Pauluses, which were quarterbacked by Greg Paulus, who used to go to Paulus University to play Paulusball but transferred to where he Paulused up as a kid and Paulused his high school Paulusball team to the Paulus championship when he was just a wee Paulus?

Wait, Minnesota won the game? I wonder if they snuck that information in while they were Paulusing Greg Paulus. And by "Paulusing" I mean *expletive deleted*ing his *expletive deleted*.

UPDATE: And it looks like John David Booty, as well as several others, is now unemployed, which looks to me to be the right move. Thanks to Vikings Gab for the heads-up.

Bulldogs win Div. II Championship!

Congratulations to my alma mater, the University of Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs, champions of Division II college football in 2008!

The Bulldogs bested the SW Missouri State Bearcats, 21-14, in today's championship game, but the game wasn't nearly as close as it might have appeared. I only watched the second half, but based on the commentary and highlights from the first half, the Bulldogs dominated the Bearcats defensively, forcing four turnovers and notching six sacks. One of SWMS's touchdowns came on an interception return, and the other on a late desperation drive. SWMS actually outgained the Bulldogs, 301 yards to 272, but you wouldn't have known it by watching the game.

In winning the championship, the Bulldogs capped off a perfect 15-0 season (and remember, those big, tough, BCS schools can't possibly have a playoff because 14 or 15 games would just be too hard on them!). Their smallest margin of victory in the regular season was 17 points, but it was a lot closer in the playoffs, with victories of 20-10, 19-13 (in OT), and today's 21-14 win (along with a 45-7 blowout). All this came after just a four-win season in 2007. Meanwhile, SW Missouri State becomes the Buffalo Bills of college football, losing their fourth straight Div II championship game.

For those who don't know, the University of Minnesota-Duluth (or "UMD," and that's not the University of Maryland!) is a nearly entirely enclosed campus, meaning that most of the dorms and buildings of the campus are connected by tunnels. You can see it on this map; the gray area in the middle is the bulk of the campus, and it's entirely interconnected, and, unless they've changed things in the 12 years since I was last there, those dorms to the left (just below J2) are connected as well.

That's a big help in a town where the average low temperature in January is 1 degree above zero -- and it's usually below average, with plentiful snow. My freshman year, we had about 40 inches of snow on Halloween. That was a Thursday. Classes were cancelled on Friday but picked up as usual next week. Except to grab a delivered pizza, I didn't go outside until the next weekend, and I didn't have to in order to eat in the dinner hall of go to classes.

I can also remember winter days with regular temps of -30 wind chills of -60 to -70. The heat went out in my apartment one night around midnight. I called the office because this definitely qualified as an "emergency." I went to bed as the workers arrived to fix the problem. I wore sweats, jeans, a sweatshirt, jacket, hat, and gloves, and an extra blanket. Not a good night.

Then there's the story about picking vomit out of someone's car at 1 a.m. in -20 weather. But I won't go into that one. You're probably already cold.

An 8,000-word post

Because a picture is worth a thousand words, and I've got 2 pictures (and 3 videos, which I rate at 2,000 words each) below. And that's not even counting the words I'm typing now. Or these ones. Or these ones. Or these ones. Or these ones...

First off, one of the best hits you'll see in college football this year, and it wasn't even by a player:



Can an official call a penalty on himself?

The video on this page won't embed, but I'm still counting it in my total above. It's probably also a fake, but it's still disturbingly fun.


Next up: A 15-pound hamburger (20+ with bun and condiments) and the man who ate it.



Hold the fries.

Finally, the funniest video you'll see all week of a Major League Baseball player inadvertantly making a gay sex comment:



Thanks, Matt Stairs!

Ooooooooo-klahoma!

If you watched any of ESPN's pre-game show before the Saints/Vikings game Monday night, you might have seen the results of their online poll that asked ESPN.com visitors to vote on who they thought would win the game. Only four states didn't believe that the Saints would win: South Dakota (which was split 50/50), North Dakota, and, of course, Minnesota, were all pro-Viking.

The fourth state was Oklahoma, which the analysts attributed to the presence of Oklahoma alum Adrian Peterson. I thought that made good enough sense, at least for one night and one game. Given a choice between rooting for your favorite college player or a team that you had no particular tie to (New Orleans), why not root for the college guy?

But it looks like it's not just a one-game trend and that ESPN isn't the only network to notice that NFL fans in Oklahoma still carry AP's torch. It seems that even the networks that broadcast the games are taking note of Peterson's popularity in his home state and are doing their part to convert the "Okies" to "Norsemen."

It started when I looked at the NFL Distribution Maps site for this week's games. Detroit/Minnesota isn't exactly a prime-time matchup, so it didn't surprise me to see that the game would only be covered in the upper Midwest -- and most of Oklahoma? Huh.

Let's flip back to week 4, the last time the Vikings played on Sunday. There it is again. Vikings/Titans are seen in the upper Midwest, Tennessee...and Oklahoma.

Week 3 against Carolina. Again, OK gets the game.

The week 2 matchup against Indy was seen throughout most of the nation, including about 3/4 of Oklahoma, with the other 1/4 getting Kansas City's game. And in week 1, of course, the Vikings played on Monday night.

This just strikes me as really, really odd, that the NFL would seek to schedule its games so as to appeal to the fans of a college where a pro player used to play, and I'm not sure I've ever seen it before. Does Tennessee get a disproportionate number of Colts games (for Peyton Manning)? Does SoCal get a lot of Saints games (Reggie Bush)? Going back a ways, did Oklahoma State alum Barry Sanders make it so that Oklahoma got Lions games for 10 years? (If so, I'm sorry.) If there are any Oklahomans out there who can offer their input as to this phenomenon, or any other resident of a "college town" who frequently sees his alumni on the NFL gridiron, I'd appreciate some input.

It's especially weird considering how close Oklahoma is to the NFL's darling, the Dallas Cowboys, though it should be noted that the Vikings and Cowboys have yet to have a game at the same time, thus forcing the Oklahoma TV networks to choose between the two. That'll change in week 7, when the Cowboys and Vikings both play an early Sunday game, so it'll be very interesting to see how the maps shape up.

I don't know how Oklahoma will vote in the upcoming election, whether it will be a red (Republican) or blue (Democrat) state. But what happens when you mix red and blue? You get purple, which seems just about right, at the moment.