The bad, the bad, and the ugly

I'm out of town until Saturday. With the Vikings having a bye and sitting pretty at 7-1, I thought I'd have some fun at the expense of the bad -- really, really bad -- teams in the NFL.

* The Browns fired their GM, who was apparently picked by their coach (shouldn't that be the other way around?) and won't start Brady Quinn because they don't want him earning an $11 million bonus if he takes 70% of his team's snaps. Derek Anderson, meanwhile, is historically bad.

* When the Chiefs wanted to get younger two years ago, they traded 26-year-old Jared Allen to the Vikings. That was confusing. Trading 33-year-old Tony Gonzalez made more sense, though I couldn't figure out why you'd want to trade possibly the best tight end ever and a pillar of your community. Gonzalez, for the record, trails only Roddy White in receptions and receiving yards for the Falcons. But at least the Chiefs got younger, right?

Well...as if gobbling up 29-year-old Bobby Wade after the Vikings waived him, the Chiefs have claimed 31-year-old Chris Chambers. If their plan is to trade away great receivers and acquire mediocre ones, then they're right on target...

* It was about what you'd expect in a Rams vs. Lions matchup: With Detroit trailing 3-0, Matthew Stafford threw an interception into the end zone. Defensive back James Butler took the ball out of the end zone, ran back in to avoid a tackler, where he was then tackled by Kevin Smith. 3-2. It's the second time I can recall an offensive player scoring a safety. Philadelphia wide receiver Charles Johnson did it in this game, 10 years ago.

* If he had enough attempts to qualify, Vince Young would be the lowest-rated passer among active quarterbacks (69.0). He's also 18-11 as a starter. I know passer rating doesn't include rushing yards, but that's still messed up...

* The Redskins made it through the "easy" part of their schedule -- Giants, Rams, Lions, Bucs, Panthers, Chiefs -- with a 2-4 record. Those teams have a combined 11-34 record. Counting their game against Philadelphia last week, their next six opponents -- Eagles, Falcons, Broncos, Cowboys, Eagles, Saints -- have a combined 32-10 record. Can you say "2-10 record"?

* And oh, those Buccaneers. They rank 28th in the league in scoring, but that should be nothing new to Tampa Bay fans. Amazingly, in 34 years, the Bucs have only ranked in the top 10 in scoring once, in 2000.

But hey, at least their coach doesn't assault women.

Power Rankings Compilation, Week 4

I wonder how much power rankings take the coach into consideration? That would cost the Vikings at least 5+ points.

My pick for Week 4: 22. Regardless of how they got there, 1-3 ain't good.

USAToday.com says:

21. Preseason buzz of Vikes as Super Bowl contenders firmly on the back burner.

Yahoo.com's Michael Silver says:

19. Hey, Vikings fans – before we fire Brad Childress, how about we give him a chance to finish first in what suddenly looks like a very winnable division?

Yes, let's embrace mediocrity. I'd love to win the division at 9-7 and get crushed in the first round of the playoffs. That's what every team should aim for.

ESPN.com's Kevin Seifert says:

21. It doesn't get any easier this week at New Orleans on "Monday Night Football."

^^^ Insert ESPN plug here. ^^^

SportingNews.com's Vinnie Iyer says:

25. The unrelated Williamses, Pat and Kevin, are 628 pounds of run-stopping force. Likewise, Matt Birk and Steve Hutchinson deliver 622 pounds of push for Adrian Peterson. Now, they need more help from the big guys on the edges.

Remember kids, Pat Williams is only *snicker* 317 pounds.

Fox Sports' Adrian Hasenmayer says:

19. The defense has played much better than the final scores have indicated thus far, but the Vikings may lose an important piece this week in leading tackler E.J. Henderson. They'll need him as they gear up for their season's first shootout possibility against New Orleans.

SI.com's Dr. Z says:

20. MLB E.J. Henderson, a serious all-pro choice, limped off the field against the Titans. Frerotte couldn't finish the game...bad hand. Is it all falling apart for a team with such high hopes?

Covers.com's Ryan Stetson says:

25. Another QB shuffle would spell big trouble in Minnesota.

Honestly? I'd rather live without E.J. Henderson this week than without Gus Frerotte. And that's just messed up, when your 37-year-old backup QB is more valuable to your team than your stud MLB.

CBS Sportsline.com's Pete Prisco says:

24. Changing from Tarvaris Jackson to Gus Frerotte has produced a 1-1 record. We'll see how it is for the long run.

I don't know what this means. The team was 0-2 under Jackson (though you know how much I love win-loss records for quarterbacks, especially over the incredible sample size of two whole games). While not great, Frerotte has produced better numbers than Jackson in completion percentage, yards per attempt, yards per game, sack percentage, and passer rating. Really, what's your point here?

And you knew it had to come, with Washington beating Dallas, the stiffy that the media has for the NFC East is as large as ever, with the Giants taking over the #1 spot on most polls, if they weren't there already, and the Redskins vaulting all the way up to #2 in Adrian Hasenmayer's poll. He starts his entry with "They may not finish the season at No. 2." So why are they there now? Meanwhile, Ryan Stetson says "So what?" to last week and still ranks the 'Boys at #1. I'm not sure which is more mystifying.

(And on a side note, does anyone else think Jason Campbell is this year's David Garrard? Dude's got 6 TDs and no interceptions through four games. He's taking care of the ball and could finish with single-digit picks, which will endear him to the hearts of everyone who thinks that "managing the game" is the mark of a great quarterback. It's not. It's the mark of a mediocre quarterback who at least understands that he's not good enough to be a great quarterback. A player like that has value, yes, but I'd rather have a guy who can win the game than a guy who can just not lose it.)

Average ranking this week: 21.75. So I was close.