Vikings get late Christmas present

With the Saints improbably losing to the Bucs on Sunday, the Vikings are suddenly alive for the #1 seed in the NFC again. On the even brighter side, if the Bucs could travel to the Superdome and beat the Saints, I don't feel too bad about the Vikings' chances to do the same, so a #2 seed would also be a nice consolation prize. In any case, if the Vikings can nail down that #2 seed (or better), it guarantees that the only outdoor game they might be playing January will be in Miami for the Super Bowl. Now if only Denver could have come through and beaten the Eagles, our weekend would have been complete...

Oh right, except for that pesky detail of beating the Bears tonight.

The down side to the wacky weekend? It guarantees that Brett Favre will get no rest, as both the Vikings' remaining regular-season games will have impact for the team. To which I say: fine. Every game is expected to be meaningful, and a quarterback is expected to play all 16 games in a season. If the quarterback can't play a full season, then that's a negative that needs to addressed. In a sense, I've found it a trifle odd that everyone was so concerned about Favre's durability this year. I mean, the guy's only probably the most durable player ever. But if part of his playing well was supposed to entail him getting rest at the end of the season, well, most teams don't have the luxury of resting their starters at the end of the year; in fact, apart from the Colts, the only teams that can do that now are making vacation plans for January. Favre's been excellent, but if we only rented a three-month quarterback, then maybe we should have made other plans. At least he'll (probably) get a week off before his first postseason game in purple.

The bad, the bad, and the ugly

I'm out of town until Saturday. With the Vikings having a bye and sitting pretty at 7-1, I thought I'd have some fun at the expense of the bad -- really, really bad -- teams in the NFL.

* The Browns fired their GM, who was apparently picked by their coach (shouldn't that be the other way around?) and won't start Brady Quinn because they don't want him earning an $11 million bonus if he takes 70% of his team's snaps. Derek Anderson, meanwhile, is historically bad.

* When the Chiefs wanted to get younger two years ago, they traded 26-year-old Jared Allen to the Vikings. That was confusing. Trading 33-year-old Tony Gonzalez made more sense, though I couldn't figure out why you'd want to trade possibly the best tight end ever and a pillar of your community. Gonzalez, for the record, trails only Roddy White in receptions and receiving yards for the Falcons. But at least the Chiefs got younger, right?

Well...as if gobbling up 29-year-old Bobby Wade after the Vikings waived him, the Chiefs have claimed 31-year-old Chris Chambers. If their plan is to trade away great receivers and acquire mediocre ones, then they're right on target...

* It was about what you'd expect in a Rams vs. Lions matchup: With Detroit trailing 3-0, Matthew Stafford threw an interception into the end zone. Defensive back James Butler took the ball out of the end zone, ran back in to avoid a tackler, where he was then tackled by Kevin Smith. 3-2. It's the second time I can recall an offensive player scoring a safety. Philadelphia wide receiver Charles Johnson did it in this game, 10 years ago.

* If he had enough attempts to qualify, Vince Young would be the lowest-rated passer among active quarterbacks (69.0). He's also 18-11 as a starter. I know passer rating doesn't include rushing yards, but that's still messed up...

* The Redskins made it through the "easy" part of their schedule -- Giants, Rams, Lions, Bucs, Panthers, Chiefs -- with a 2-4 record. Those teams have a combined 11-34 record. Counting their game against Philadelphia last week, their next six opponents -- Eagles, Falcons, Broncos, Cowboys, Eagles, Saints -- have a combined 32-10 record. Can you say "2-10 record"?

* And oh, those Buccaneers. They rank 28th in the league in scoring, but that should be nothing new to Tampa Bay fans. Amazingly, in 34 years, the Bucs have only ranked in the top 10 in scoring once, in 2000.

But hey, at least their coach doesn't assault women.

Average is as average does

In a mediocre division with three .500 teams (and the Lions, who only barely resemble an NFL team), the Vikings are still in the race. They can still make the playoffs, win their division, and then, who knows? Teams have come back from worse starts than 5-5 or gone into the playoffs after so-so regular seasons (think last year's Giants and the 2005 Steelers) and gone all the way, so maybe, just maybe, the Vikings can close out strong and ride a late-season surge deep into the playoffs. It could happen.

I just ain't betting on it.

The Vikings season is, for all intents and purposes, over. I know, that's a strong statement to make with six games still remaining on the docket, but really, does anyone believe any more that this team is going anywhere? You can't take an entire half off, like they did yesterday against Tampa Bay, and still think you're a good team. You aren't.

And by "team," I don't mean the players, whom we still think (perhaps erroneously) are good and be dismissive about the coaching or play-calling. The Vikings are 5-5. They are average. The entire team, players, coaching, ownership, everything figures into that 5-5 record. Maybe the team really is just a couple of pseudo-quick fixes (head coach and quarterback) from being dominant, but those changes aren't coming this season. Like it or not, Brad Childress is a part of this team and will be at least until the end of the season, a season that started out looking so promising but now is on track for, at best, an 8-8 or 9-7 finish.

And even that might not be so easy. What looked like a creampuff late schedule at the start of the year now looks like a nightmare. Sure, we still get Detroit (though after that lackluster 12-10 win at home and the fact that Daunte Culpepper looks halfway competent and will sure as heck be motivated to beat his former team, who knows?), and Chicago looked bad yesterday, but they're still not a pushover. Then we have Jacksonville on the road, who, at 4-6, have still outscored their opponents, Atlanta (6-4), Arizona (7-3), and the Giants (9-1) to close out the season. Two wins out of six in that group is a distinct possibility. Three would be decent. Four (which would result in a 9-7 record and possibly win the division) looks nearly impossible.

This isn't a team that's going nowhere. It's a team that's going somewhere, but it just doesn't know where. It has just enough talent to tantalize you but then lays a big enough egg (again, second half against Tampa Bay) to break your heart. You know they can play better, but it's like they're saying, "No thanks, we'd rather be mediocre."

And right now, that's what they are. The Vikings are 5-5, and they'll probably be lucky to get to 8-8. Which still might win the division, save Brad Childress's job, and allow us to get stomped out of the first round of the playoffs, maybe against Tampa Bay again. They should just take the whole game off this time, and save us the trouble of caring.

Edit: Oh yeah, forgot about Pat Williams' and Kevin Williams' looming suspensions. Eight wins might be optimistic.

Another gift win?

From the Star-Tribune:

"Adrian Peterson should have been penalized 15 yards for removing his helmet on the field after scoring the winning touchdown against the Packers on Sunday."

Yeah, I thought the same thing. And I was just praying (in a metaphorical sense) that the officials wouldn't notice and make the call. If they had, then Packers kicker Mason Crosby might only have had a 37-yard field goal instead of a 52-yarder to win the game at the end of regulation.

So that brings the Vikings' win total up to 2 and the officials' up to 3. Hooray?

* With Charles Gordon's gruesome ankle injury finishing his season, Benny Sapp will move into the nickel role in the secondary and Aundrae Allison should take over most of Gordon's punt-return duties. I don't know much about Sapp, but I've been stumping for Allison as a return man for over a year now. He averaged 28.7 yards on 20 kick returns as a rookie (with one touchdown) and, in limited action this year, has managed 7.1 yards per punt return.

Best of all, he's about fourth on the wide-receiver depth chart, making him more expendable than Chester Taylor, who has inexplicably returned eight kicks this year. Which still brings up the question of why we signed Maurice Hicks in the offseason. Maybe Allison is the new Mewelde Moore -- great return guy who the team absolutely refuses to use. (Although if his recent stint as a starter in Pittsburgh is any indication -- 4.1 yards a carry -- then maybe he was more than a return man all along. Gosh, who knew?)

* Speaking of former Vikings, Chris Hovan is still playing, believe it or not, and he'll face off against his former team this Sunday in Tampa. After John Randle and before Kevin Williams, Hovan was the force in the center of the defensive line for the Vikings and was a crazy, tattoo-wearing disruptive force for several years. His production dropped off significantly after Williams' arrival and the team jettisoned him after the 2004 season, when he latched on with the Bucs.

About his experiences in Minnesota, Hovan says, "It was tough my last year in Minnesota, I'm not going to lie. I was deactivated, I didn't get along with the head coach [Mike Tice]."

Hm. So Hovan didn't like Tice, Randy Moss didn't like Tice. Gee, maybe it wasn't Hovan and Moss we should have gotten rid of after the 2004 season. I'm just sayin'...

* And one more former Viking returned to the NFL this last weekend to the tune of 5-for-10 passing for 104 yards and one interception. Good to see you back, Daunte. Can't wait to play you in four weeks.

* If you've ever read Matthew Berry's columns on ESPN.com or had the pleasure (?) of seeing him on TV, you know that he's about as good at his job as you or I -- namely that he's a reasonably experienced fantasy football player who doesn't offer anything useful beyond the basics of the game (hey, draft running backs early!) and offers up lackluster advice (hey, Adrian Peterson is good) while making the occasional far-fetched prediction and hoping it'll come true so he'll look like a genius.

In fact, Berry made about 50 such predictions at the start of the season, and I've taken it to myself to check out every one at the end of the year and see how he did. He admits that "The idea is not that I nail every prediction," and that his claims might at least steer you toward players who won't necessarily match his predicted numbers but who at least will be worth looking at. So I'll take all that into account (as well as things like Tom Brady's injury -- heck, I thought he'd throw for about 40 TDs this year, too) when I evaluate him at the end of the year.

Even so, there are some major clunkers in the list:

3. Michael Turner will finish with fewer than 1,000 yards rushing and seven touchdowns.

Turner has 890 yards and 7 TDs through nine games.

16. James Jones will have 800 yards and seven touchdowns.

Jones currently has 43 yards and one TD.

21. Reggie Williams will catch double-digit touchdowns again.

He has one TD.

40. Marc Bulger and Torry Holt will return to fantasy prominence. Specifically, Bulger will throw 3,500 yards and at least 24 touchdowns. Holt will get 10 scores.

Bulger: 1,373 yards, 6 TDs. Holt: 2 TDs.

44. Ben Obomanu will reach 800 yards and six touchdowns.

Obomanu (a Seattle wide receiver, in case you didn't know) has 180 yards and 2 TDs, so maybe with a strong second half he can...wait, those are his 2007 numbers. He has zero catches in 2008.

I have to give him credit for #10 (Brady Quinn will start for the Browns by Week 9) and #46 (Chris Johnson will be the leading rusher for the Tennessee Titans), but by and large, it looks like a bloodbath. Hey, how about that Troy Smith in Baltimore (#5)?

And you didn't draft Quinn anyway, did you?

Favre wants out, but where will he be in?

I'm not sick of Brett Favre news, per se. What I'm sick of is Brett Favre innuendo, rumors, half-truths, "conversations with a source close to Favre," and news of what he does with his cell phone. (OMG WTF TXT MESSAGE LOL!)

But now there's some real, substantial news about #4, and it's seeming almost guaranteed that he'll come back to play in 2008. It's not all that surprising, really. Brett Favre loves Sundays. He'd kill for the joy of going out there every week in front of 70,000 screaming fans. For three hours a week, he's on top of the world, a nigh-invincible gladiator on the gridiron.

Unfortunately, there are 168 other hours in the week, and while I won't go so far as to say Favre's miserable those other 165 hours, they don't come close to the three hours on Sunday. He's like a junkie, getting his quick fix once a week and then having to endure the pale imitation of practice the rest of the week. And then there's the interminable off-season. If you think it's hard for us, the fans, to endure, at least we don't have to sweat it out in mini-camps, two-a-days, and OTAs all spring and summer long, just to get to that brief euphoria of Sunday afternoons.

Toss in the fact that Favre's 38 years old and his general propensity for "winging it" and you can see why he'd want to skip a good portion of that "unnecessary" prep time and just get to the good stuff. If all you had were those three hours every Sunday, Favre would play until he was 68. You think Allen Iverson hates practice? I promise you, Brett Favre hates it more.

So, now that he's coming back, and apparently not to the Packers, where will he go? What team needs a 38-year-old quarterback with a spotty recent track record who'll command a decent salary and won't accept a backup job? On the plus side, he'd be a major attraction and I hear he's fairly durable.

First things first: I think there's absolutely zero chance he goes to an NFC North team. If the Packers can't arrange that as a condition of his release, I still think it's a slim chance. Minnesota, for better or for worse, seems committed to Tarvaris Jackson, and I think adding Favre at this relatively late stage of things would seriously confuse a team that seems poised for a deep playoff run. Chicago has two QBs they're not sure about -- why add a third? And Detroit's got a junior version of Favre in Jon Kitna. Looking around the rest of the league, here are my thoughts on where he could go:

Atlanta. Would be poetic, wouldn't it? Favre goes back to the team that originally drafted him. He'd have to be a better mentor for Matt Ryan than Chris Redman and Joey Harrington. And remember how many butts Michael Vick put in the seats? Favre could immediately return the Falcons to watchability, if not relevance.

Baltimore. Almost the same situation as Atlanta. Young, highly drafted QB (Joe Flacco), questionable incumbent (Kyle Boller), no real expectations. Would there be room in the locker room, though, for both Favre's ego and that of Ray Lewis?

Buffalo. Here's a team that's got two young but only moderately talented quarterbacks (Trent Edwards and JP Losman), a top-flight wide receiver (Lee Evans), a good young running back (Marshawn Lynch), and, after a 7-9 season in 2007, some aspirations for a playoff spot. And I think he could handle the weather.

Houston. Yes, they still owe Matt Schaub too much money. But you have to think Favre would love to be reunited with Ahman Green and take a team that's never been to the playoffs into the promised land.

San Francisco. Just how committed are the 49ers to Alex Smith, Shaun Hill, and J.T. O'Sullivan? If the answer is "not very," then what happens when Brett Favre and Mike Martz join forces? (The answer is that Frank Gore gets about five carries a game.)

Tampa Bay. No real reason here except that Jon Gruden is still the head coach and Brett Favre is a quarterback. Do you need anything else?