A distinct lack of Flair

I am such a wimp.

The forecast for Sunday in Charlotte is low of 25 and high of 42. Now, being the good, hardy Minnesota boy that I am, 25 degrees above zero doesn't frighten me. Heck, 25 degrees below zero doesn't frighten me either -- I've gone out in that and worse than that.

But here's the deal. I could go to the Panthers game on Sunday. I know a season ticket holder who's willing to sell me his. So, I could go and watch the Vikings in person, which would entail:

1) A good deal of money spent on the tickets
2) A good deal of money spent on parking and potentially food
3) Sitting on my butt in near- or below-freezing weather for 3-4 hours at night (As everyone knows, the way to deal with cold weather is to keep moving; I was fine walking to school in subzero temps as a teenager but the 15 seconds I had to stop for traffic were excruciating.)
4) Dealing with downtown Charlotte traffic
5) Rooting for my team in a hostile environment; and
6) Probably not getting home until around midnight

All that is weighted against sitting at home and watching a game in the comfort of my own home on national TV. It's really not that hard a decision once you get right down to it. If this game were an afternoon game in October or something, I'd probably be all over it. (I might have been able to get out to the game the last time the Vikings played in Charlotte, in which case, I could have witnessed this infamous game, in which Chris Gamble effectively ended Daunte Culpepper's career and Steve Smith effectively ended Fred Smoot's relevance.)

So, I think I'll go ahead and enjoy this one at home, even if it means missing out on the Ric Flair safety video I saw the last time I went to a Panthers game (a preseason Panthers/Steelers game in 2006); I couldn't find it online, so you'll have to settle with a fan's video of the Nature Boy celebrating a Carolina Panthers goal.

Woooooooo!

Vikings Best Possible Draft, 1999

With regards to the NFL draft, hindsight is always 20/20. Knowing what we know now, there's no way Randy Moss would have lasted until the 21st pick of the first round in 1998 or that Joe Montana wouldn't have been selected until the third round.

As I've done for the past few years, I've gone back to the 1999 draft -- 10 years ago -- and, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, re-picked for the Vikings, when appropriate, to determine who they should have taken in that draft, based on what we now know about the incoming rookies of 1999. Any player still on the board (and usually taken before the Vikings take their next pick) is a possible selection.

It's a fun exercise, not to be taken too seriously, and would give you something to do if you had a time machine. And you could get a hold of Vikings management and convince them that not to take Dimitrius Underwood. Please convince them not to take Dimitrius Underwood.

Round 1, Pick 11
Actual: Daunte Culpepper, QB
BPD: Daunte Culpepper, QB (picked 1-11)

The Culpepper selection was seen as a bit of a head-scratcher by a team that had just enjoyed a monster season from Randall Cunningham and had picked up Jeff George. It turned out to be a rather wise selection, though, with Cunningham predictably coming back down to earth and George, while having a solid season, predictably wearing out his welcome and being jettisoned a year later. Despite some ups and downs, Culpepper was the most reliable quarterback the Vikings had had since the days of Tommy Kramer and is only one of two players in team history (along with Fran Tarkenton) to lead the Vikings in passing for five straight years.

This is actually a tougher pick than it seems. A lot of good players, notably Jevon Kearse, John Tait, and Antoine Winfield are still available before the Vikings' next pick, later in the first round. And Culpepper left the team with a bad taste following his horrid, injury-shortened 2005 season; the Vikings have yet to find a suitable replacement for him at QB. But I think I'm still going to stick with him in this slot. Kearse has been about as mercurial a talent as Culpepper, Tait was a tackle (the team had Korey Stringer and Todd Steussie), and, well, we already got Winfield :)

Round 1, Pick 29
Actual: Dimitrius Underwood, DE
BPD: Dre Bly, CB (picked 2-41)

As mentioned previously, Dimitrius Underwood was possibly the worst first-round pick in Vikings history. Carrie Underwood would have been a better selection (and might have increased our chances of later signing Tony Romo...). He attempted to commit suicide during his rookie season and never appeared in a game with the team, playing just 16 games with Dallas over the next few seasons.

With the bar set so low, just about anyone would be an improvement, but why not aim high and take Dre Bly? The 10-year veteran with 40 career interceptions would have been a significant upgrade over burn victim Jimmy Hitchcock, who somehow lucked his way into a seven-interception, three-TD year in 1998 but would only start seven more games, for Carolina and New England after 1999. Kenny Wright, who wound up starting as a rookie in 1999, wasn't much better in his three years as a Viking.

Round 2, Pick 44
Actual: Jim Kleinsasser, TE
BPD: Joey Porter, LB (picked 3-73)

I like Jim Kleinsasser. Really, I do. And while he's a phenomenal blocker, and not a bad receiver for such a big guy, he's hardly Hall of Fame material. Porter might not be either, but he's a heck of a lot closer. His 83 sacks are more than any other player drafted in 1999, and he's appeared in 154 of a possible 160 games since 1999, a testament to his durability.

Round 4, Pick 120
Actual: Kenny Wright, DB
BPD: Edwin Mulitalo, G (picked 4-129)

As previously mentioned, Wright was nothing special during his Vikings career. And the pickings are starting to get a little slim this far down in the draft, but we can still do better. With Randall McDaniel aging -- he was 35 in 1999, his final year with the team -- drafting Mulitalo as his eventual replacement would be a wise investment. Playing on a line alongside Johnathan Ogden in Baltimore, Mulitalo isn't very well known, but his contributions to Jamal Lewis's glory years can't be ignored.

Round 4, Pick 125
Actual: Jay Humphrey, T
BPD: Roderick Coleman, DT (picked 5-153)

Jay who? Humphrey never suited up in the NFL, making this an easier pick to replace than Underwood. I'll take "Rowdy" Roddy Coleman in his place, one of the league's unsung defensive tackle stalwarts for most of this decade. His 58.5 career sacks (with three double-digit seasons) are extremely impressive for an interior lineman. By comparison, Kevin Williams has 42.5 while appearing in just 15 fewer games.

Round 5, Pick 169
Actual: Chris Jones, LB
BPD: Desmond Clark, TE (picked 6-179)

Another "Where are they now?" pick (but only if we cared), Jones also never played a down in the NFL and was the last pick of the fifth round. His replacement, Desmond Clark, on the other hand, has appeared in 146 of a possible 160 games, with over 300 career catches. And drafting him takes some of the pain from not getting 'Sass earlier...

Round 6, Pick 185
Actual: Talance Sawyer, DE
BPD: Hunter Smith, P (picked 7-210)

Sawyer at least had a minor career, starting two seasons with the Vikings and appearing in a total of 39 games. Pickings are so slim, though, that we're forced to take a punter at this stage of the draft, but you could do a lot worse than lifetime Colt Hunter Smith, who's averaged 43.4 yards per boot over his 10-year career, even if Mitch Berger did still have a little gas left in the tank.

Round 6, Pick 199
Actual: Antico Dalton, LB
BPD: Donald Driver, WR (picked 7-213)

This one's easy, even if you hate the Packers. Sure, the Vikings had Randy Moss and Cris Carter, but Jake Reed was on the way out, so why not replace him with -- well, a slower version of Cris Carter. Hey, can't argue with results, right?

Round 7, Pick 236
Actual: Noel Scarlett, DT
BPD: Jim Finn, FB (picked 7-253)

"Noel Scarlett" sounds more like the hero of a romance novel than a 320-pound defensive tackle. His NFL career was almost as fictional as one, as he appeared in just one game, with Dallas in 2000. With only 17 players left to be picked, there's not much out there, so I'm going with Mr. Irrelevant himself, Jim Finn. Now the Vikings have replaced Kleinsasser as both a tight end and a fullback. Brilliant! Center Todd McClure would also be a good pick, but the Vikings still had Jeff Christy and Matt Birk was waiting in the wings, so center wouldn't seem to be much of a need for the team.

So, to recap, the Vikings "improved" draft nets them a quarterback, a ball-hawking corner, a talented (if mouthy) linebacker, a stalwart guard, a forceful defensive tackle, a quality tight end, a dependable punter, an overlooked (at the time) wide receiver, and a bruising fullback.

Admittedly, with the possible exception of Porter, none of these guys are probably destined for Canton, but there isn't much I can do about that with my revisionist history. Half the players drafted ahead of Culpepper -- notably Donovan McNabb, Edgerrin James, Torry Holt, and Champ Bailey -- have at least a shot at the Hall of Fame. Only three players -- Bly, Porter, Driver, and Al Wilson -- drafted after the first round have been to multiple Pro Bowls, making 1999 perhaps the most top-heavy draft in recent history.

So far, so good

NFL's drug suspension of 5 blocked by federal judge.

So the Williams Wall will be available for Sunday's game against Detroit. Which could be both good and bad news. Because if the suspensions stick, the Williamses will miss the next four games, no matter when they occur. Meaning that if they still are suspended next week, they'll miss the final three regular-season games and the first playoff game, should the Vikings advance to the postseason. A two-week delay would cost us two regular-season games and stretch into the playoffs or, potentially, next season. It's really an "all or nothing" gamble being undertaken by the Vikings, and it's possible the team could have still made the playoffs even without the Williams boys for the season's final four games. Taking the four-game suspension now could, quite possibly, have been the least harmful move. Now, though, they'll have to completely overturn the NFL's ruling to have any shot of keeping this from being a disaster.

* You know I don't like using this, but...the Vikings are 7-3 with Gus Frerotte in the lineup. Perhaps even more significant, after a 1-3 start without Bryant McKinnie, the team is 7-2 with him.

* Since taking over as the Lions' starter, Daunte Culpepper has been sacked 11 times in 102 dropbacks (a 10.6% rate) and thrown six interceptions in 91 pass attempts (6.6%). His passer rating is 53.6 and he's averaging 2.3 yards on eight rushes.

Really, why didn't this guy have a job earlier in the season? That's what every NFL pundit was asking throughout the season. I know Detroit's awful, but where are all the Daunte defenders now?

* Another note on how awful the Lions are: They've given up 38, 31, 38, and 47 points to low-watt offenses Jacksonville, Carolina, Tampa Bay, and Tennessee in their previous four games and their final four put them against the best running back in the league (Adrian Peterson), a guy who knows a thing or two about picking apart a bad defense (Peyton Manning), an MVP candidate (Drew Brees) and the #5 scoring offense in the league (Green Bay).

The NFL record for most points allowed in a season is 533 by the 1981 Baltimore Colts. That's 33.3 per game. The Lions have allowed a league-high 393 points this season, 32.8 per game. This could be a record-breaking defense, and for all the wrong reasons.

That is, of course, assuming the Vikings can score more than 12.

Average is as average does

In a mediocre division with three .500 teams (and the Lions, who only barely resemble an NFL team), the Vikings are still in the race. They can still make the playoffs, win their division, and then, who knows? Teams have come back from worse starts than 5-5 or gone into the playoffs after so-so regular seasons (think last year's Giants and the 2005 Steelers) and gone all the way, so maybe, just maybe, the Vikings can close out strong and ride a late-season surge deep into the playoffs. It could happen.

I just ain't betting on it.

The Vikings season is, for all intents and purposes, over. I know, that's a strong statement to make with six games still remaining on the docket, but really, does anyone believe any more that this team is going anywhere? You can't take an entire half off, like they did yesterday against Tampa Bay, and still think you're a good team. You aren't.

And by "team," I don't mean the players, whom we still think (perhaps erroneously) are good and be dismissive about the coaching or play-calling. The Vikings are 5-5. They are average. The entire team, players, coaching, ownership, everything figures into that 5-5 record. Maybe the team really is just a couple of pseudo-quick fixes (head coach and quarterback) from being dominant, but those changes aren't coming this season. Like it or not, Brad Childress is a part of this team and will be at least until the end of the season, a season that started out looking so promising but now is on track for, at best, an 8-8 or 9-7 finish.

And even that might not be so easy. What looked like a creampuff late schedule at the start of the year now looks like a nightmare. Sure, we still get Detroit (though after that lackluster 12-10 win at home and the fact that Daunte Culpepper looks halfway competent and will sure as heck be motivated to beat his former team, who knows?), and Chicago looked bad yesterday, but they're still not a pushover. Then we have Jacksonville on the road, who, at 4-6, have still outscored their opponents, Atlanta (6-4), Arizona (7-3), and the Giants (9-1) to close out the season. Two wins out of six in that group is a distinct possibility. Three would be decent. Four (which would result in a 9-7 record and possibly win the division) looks nearly impossible.

This isn't a team that's going nowhere. It's a team that's going somewhere, but it just doesn't know where. It has just enough talent to tantalize you but then lays a big enough egg (again, second half against Tampa Bay) to break your heart. You know they can play better, but it's like they're saying, "No thanks, we'd rather be mediocre."

And right now, that's what they are. The Vikings are 5-5, and they'll probably be lucky to get to 8-8. Which still might win the division, save Brad Childress's job, and allow us to get stomped out of the first round of the playoffs, maybe against Tampa Bay again. They should just take the whole game off this time, and save us the trouble of caring.

Edit: Oh yeah, forgot about Pat Williams' and Kevin Williams' looming suspensions. Eight wins might be optimistic.

Williams almost back? And more notes

It's a bye week for the Vikings, which means things are pretty quiet, though things are looking up for one of the Vikings' big off-season free-agent acquisitions.

* S Madeiu Williams finally looks ready to make his regular-season Vikings debut after suffering a neck injury in preseason that has kept him sidelined for nine weeks. Rookie Tyrell Johnson has started in his place and hasn't done much of anything to slow down other team's passing attacks, so Williams should be a welcome addition to a typically soft secondary.

* In other transaction news, the Vikings cut LB Erin Henderson, promoting LB Rufus Alexander from the practice squad, and then re-signed Henderson two days later, cutting Alexander. Bizarre.

* Speaking for guys who were cut and re-signed by the same team (and former Bengals, like Williams), it's a good thing Cincinnati re-acquired WR Chris Henry in the off-season, with owner Mike Brown essentially forcing him on head coach Marvin Lewis. No other multiply arrested, dumb-as-a-rock third receiver on an 0-7 team could have managed four catches in three games (Henry was suspended for the first four games of the season). Maybe when Lewis is inevitably fired after this season, he might be worth a look by the Vikings; I'd be interested to see what he can do when he doesn't have to babysit felons.

* Speaking of wide receivers who shouldn't be in the NFL, Troy Williamson -- who, as usual looked great in training camp and had many Jags fans thinking he was a "steal" -- still officially has just two catches for 11 yards with the Jaguars. The next time someone tells you that Usain Bolt would make a great wide receiver (and boy, did ESPN hammer that into our skulls for about two weeks), remind them that being fast doesn't automatically make you a good receiver.

* Pacifist Viking posts a great assessment of the 2008 Vikings and his (and, to a large extent) my feelings on their chance for success. Meanwhile, Brad Childress is up two points and is finally second in overall votes cast -- to a guy who was fired.

* Finally, after insisting that he didn't want to "wait for one of my fellow quarterbacks to suffer a serious injury," and retiring in September, Daunte Culpepper has taken the Brett Favre approach to retirement and is apparently looking for work again. Because, you know, teams need depth at the QB position because...wait for it...guys are getting hurt. Or in the case of Kansas City, who was apparently inquiring about Daunte's availability before signing Quinn Gray, all their quarterbacks are just awful.

The Vikings' first round picks in 1999 were Culpepper and Demetrious Underwood, who suffered from depression and tried to commit suicide. I'm starting to wonder which of the two was the bigger head case.

Farewell, Daunte

After a nine-year NFL career, three Pro Bowls, over 20,000 passing yards and 175 combined rushing/receiving touchdowns, former Vikings QB Daunte Culpepper called it quits yesterday at the age of 31. Citing that he was "not given a fair chance to come in and compete for a job" (more on that later), Culpepper closed the book on an up-and-down career that brought him within breathing distance of the NFL's ultimate goal but also laid him low on more than one occasion.

Following the Vikings' stupendous 1998 15-1 season, team officials opted to trade quarterback Brad Johnson to the Washington Redskins, choosing to rely on Randall Cunningham to lead the team in 1999. The Redskins, having lost Trent Green to free agency and cut loose current Vikings QB Gus Frerotte, were happy to trade a number of draft picks, including their first-rounder, to the Vikings. With that pick, the #11 selection overall, the Vikings drafted Culpepper out of Central Florida college, a move regarded as curious considering the team had both Cunningham and the recently signed Jeff George at the position.

Cunningham got off to a slow start in 1999 and was replaced by George in week six. The rookie Culpepper saw only three snaps his first season, rushing for six yards on three carries and not throwing a pass. Despite his good season, the team elected to let George leave via free agency (to the Redskins, where he would back up Johnson) and went with the unpolished but talented Culpepper as their starting quarterback in 2000. With an offensive cast that included Randy Moss, Cris Carter, Robert Smith, and star offensive linemen Matt Birk, Todd Steussie, and Korey Stringer, Culpepper was set up to succeed from day one.

And succeed he did. Culpepper accounted for all three Vikings touchdowns -- all via the rush -- in the team's 30-27 opening-day win over the Chicago Bears. His first TD pass (to Randy Moss, naturally) came next week in a 13-7 win over the Dolphins. By the end of the season, Culpepper had been firmly established as the Vikings' starter, erasing any doubts with 40 touchdowns (33 passing, 7 rushing), 3,937 passing and 470 rushing yards, and a 98.0 passer rating. After an 11-2 start, however, the team lost its last three regular-season games and, after winning its playoff opener against New Orleans, was crushed in the NFC Championship Game, a 41-0 drubbing by the New York Giants.

Still, hopes were high for Culpepper and the Vikings going into 2001, but the successes of 2000 were not to be repeated. Culpepper was hurt in the 11th game of the season and didn't play again that year, amassing only 14 passing TDs versus 13 interceptions as the team stumbled to a 5-11 record that spelled the end of Green's 10-year coaching tenure with the team. The next season was almost as bad, with Culpepper throwing 23 interceptions versus only 18 touchdown passes and even being benched during a game against the New York Giants in favor of the unremarkable Todd Bouman. The team went 6-10 in head coach Mike Tice's first season.

2003 was a resurgent year for Culpepper and, to some extent, the Vikings. Despite missing two games with injuries, Culpepper rebounded with 25 TDs against 11 interceptions, leading the team to a 9-7 record and putting them within seconds of making the playoffs before this happened. (Video link has been removed, but here's a heart-wrenchingly close enough version.)

Then came the 2004 season. In what still must go down as one of the best seasons ever by a quarterback, Culpepper put up numbers that looked like he was playing a video game. 4,717 and 39 TDs passing. 69.2% completion percentage. Nearly 300 yards per game. 406 yards and 2 TDs rushing. Culpepper's combined 5,123 passing/rushing yards are still an NFL single-season record, and his passer rating of 110.9 ranks fifth all time on the single-season list.

Despite that success, there were three things amiss with the 2004 season. First, Culpepper's amazing season was overshadowed by Peyton Manning's 2004 season that saw throw 49 TD passes, breaking Dan Marino's single-season record (surpassed in 2007 by Tom Brady). Second, the Vikings' defense in 2004 was among the worst in the league, and the team managed only an 8-8 record, just barely squeezing into the playoffs and being knocked out in the second round by the Philadelphia Eagles.

Third, and perhaps the most troubling long-term problem with the season was the seeming decline of Randy Moss. Culpepper's running buddy since taking over the reigns as Vikings' QB in 2000, Moss missed several games with an injury in 2004 and was used only as a decoy in others, limiting him to a career-worst (at the time) 49 catches for 767 yards, despite hauling in 13 touchdowns. His attitude, never great, was called into question even more when he left the field with two seconds remaining in the Vikings' regular-season finale against the Redskins and when he offended Joe Buck's sensitivities by faux-mooning the Green Bay Packers' fans during the playoffs. As a result, the Vikings shipped Moss off the Raiders in the off-season, breaking up the best QB/WR tandem in team history.

Still, Culpepper had looked reasonably well in the games Moss missed in 2004, so fans were hopeful he could continue his free-slinging ways in 2005. To the heartbreak of every fantasy football fan who picked him in the first round of drafts in 2005, Culpepper completely bombed, heaving 12 interceptions (versus 6 touchdowns) in the first seven games of the season. In a game against Carolina (which I had actually been debating attending, since the Panthers' stadium is about 15 miles from my home and my employer at the time made NFL merchandise, thus giving me an avenue into the occasional home Panthers game), cornerback Chris Gamble tackled Culpepper low on a run at the end of the first quarter. The hit damaged three of the four ligaments -- the ACL, PCL, and MCL -- in Culpepper's knee and he missed the remainder of the season while recuperating from surgery.

Then things got weird. Before the injury, Culpepper was fingered in the Love Boat scandal, though it was generally accepted that he was not guilty of any wrongdoing. In the offseason, he fired his agent, choosing to represent himself and became known for firing off random e-mails to the media and asking for his release or trade. New head coach Brad Childress likened his limited experience with Culpepper to his dealings with Terrell Owens while both were in Philadelphia in that all conversations revolved around what the player could get from the team and not what the player could do for the team.

With Brad Johnson back in purple and Culpepper both coming off an awful year and a serious knee injury and apparently unwilling to play without a renegotiated contract, the team shipped him off to Miami for a second-round draft pick. He began the season as the Dolphins' starter but, four games in, it was decided that his knee wasn't fully healed from his 2005 injury and he was shelved in favor of Joey Harrington. In 2007, he resurfaced with the Oakland Raiders and, in probably his best post-Vikings game, accounted for all five of the Raiders' touchdowns (three rushing, two passing) in a 35-17 win over his former team, the Dolphins. On Nov. 18, he got the start against his original franchise and almost rallied the Raiders to a win in the Metrodome against the Vikings before falling 29-22. He started one more game for the Raiders, a 20-17 win over Kansas City, in what now stands as his final NFL action.

Since his spectacular 2004 season, Culpepper has thrown 536 NFL passes, about the equivalent of a full season. Those passes have yielded 3,824 yards, 13 touchdowns and 20 interceptions. In addition, Culpepper has rushed for 207 yards on 54 carries (3.8 average) and his passer rating is a mediocre 75.3. But the most troublesome statistic has to be his sack rate during those three years. Culpepper had been dropped an amazing 73 times in those three years, almost exactly 12.0% of the time. And you can't just blame that on a poor offensive line; his quarterback teammates during those three years have significantly lower sack rates. Likewise, while his knee injury certainly damaged his mobility and may have contributed some to his sack totals, realize that about 40% of his dropbacks over that span came with the Vikings in 2005 -- in other words, before he suffered his knee injury. he had a 12.6% sack rate in that season.

In his letter announcing his retirement, Culpepper that, despite the preseason's usual quarterback injuries, he was not given a "fair chance" to compete for a job, despite the fact that he was offered short-term deals from both the Packers and the Steelers. It seems clear, both from his letter and his actions of the past few months that Culpepper didn't just want a job, but a starting job. And, based on his amazing 2004 season -- now four years' distant -- he believed himself fully qualified for such a job and scoffed at lesser offers.

Unfortunately, reality never sunk in for Culpepper, even if it did for the general managers of the 32 teams in the league. He stated in his letter that "the league did not share any of the optimism about me as an unrestricted free agent that I expected" and that "there seemed to be a unified message from teams that I was not welcome to compete for one of the many jobs that were available at the quarterback position," despite his receiving the two job offers mentioned above. A quarterback who, over his last three seasons, has been sacked about once every eight times he drops back and who has posted passer ratings of 72, 77, and 78, isn't going to be the premier job offers, but this never seemed to occur to Culpepper.

What I think it comes down to is that Culpepper never wanted an opportunity to play; he wanted an opportunity to start, and (rightfully) no team was willing to give him that opportunity. He still believed himself to be a starting quarterback in the NFL and, while every player should have that goal, sometimes you have to accept the reality of your situation and take what's offered. He goes on in his letter to talk about how, since becoming his own agent, he's "seen" that the NFL is more a business than a passion for most people, which should be news to nobody but him. Perhaps he felt that, because he was such a great guy, teams should rush out to sign him, regardless of his actual ability to compete on the field. Yes, Daunte, the NFL is about having power and controlling that power. If Tom Brady told the Patriots he wanted a yacht for Christmas, they'd get him a yacht because he has bargaining power. You, on the other hand, have none. Pity you could never come to grips with that. You were still fun to watch.

Tuesday Potpurri

Also known as "I'm too lazy to come up with an original topic, so I'll clear out some of the old stories I've had bookmarked for a while."

* Ah, Daunte Culpepper. You've been so much fun to read about, at least since you fired your agent back in 2006 and chose to represent yourself. Since that incredible 2004 season with the Vikings, you've had major knee surgery and thrown 13 touchdowns and 20 interceptions with three different teams (Vikings, Dolphins, and Raiders). Your greatest accomplishment in that time? Setting the high score in the Madden two-minute drill.

Meanwhile, this offseason, you received offers from both the Packers and Steelers to be a backup quarterback. Your response? "I just was not willing to take the vet minimum and no guaranteed roster spot."

Guess what? You don't have a roster spot, guaranteed or otherwise right now. You're 5-17 as a starter since 2004. (I know, I know, starting QBs' winning record and all that, but this is one case where I'd rather have Tarvaris Jackson and his awesome 8-4 record as a starter in 2007.) In 2006, the Dolphins might have thought you had enough left in the tank; in 2007, the Raiders might have thought you'd rekindle some of that 2004 magic.

It's 2008 now. Take what you can get.

* Speaking of Jackson, he might play this week against Dallas. Or he might not. *yawn* Someone wake me up when the real season starts.

(Don't miss the last line of that article: "Metrodome workers used a device to "aerate" the FieldTurf in an effort to make the surface softer or fluffier for the preseason game last Saturday."

"Fluffy"? Coming in 2008 to the Metrodome: PillowTurf^tm!)

* I think Matthew Berry, ESPN.com's fantasy football "guru," is questionable in his expertise and likes to make wild predictions for little to no reason. So, I'm going to track his list in this column -- or at least the ones I can verify (i.e., not #17 or #22) -- and see how many he gets right at the end of the season. Sadly, I think #25 is one of his less "out there" notions.

* Robert Smith as the new head of the NFLPA? He's undoubtedly a smart guy, but I think the other options just have more experience in such matters, so he's probably a long shot.

* Maybe it's a little harder to say after he saved the last two games of a four-game series against the Twins, but Francisco Rodriguez is probably the most overrated player in the majors -- and most likely to get a bloated contract in the offseason that his new team will regret. Don't believe me? Read this, this, and especially this, which indicates that he's really no better than any other closer.

* Finally, if you're looking for more good blogs about Minnesota sports, look no further than this page, which compiles the best of the web -- and my site -- for Twins, Vikings, Wild, and Gophers talk. It also has a list of Timberwolves links, but can anything good really be said about them?

My poor, bleeding eyes!

Those wacky Madden '09 folks are at it again.

Warning: The following image may be too graphic for young viewers, especially those in the upper Midwest.

Read the story here. In essence, a Madden '09 season with Brett Favre as QB put the Vikings at 10-6. Without him, the team goes 5-11.

(And besides, John David Booty is wearing #4. You think the rookie fifth-round draft pick is going to give up his hard-fought number for a nobody like Favre? Pfeh!)

Now I'm as big a Tarvaris Jackson critic as anyone. But 5-11? Three wins fewer than last year? The article's author seems to agree:

Unless Jared Allen is mauled by bears on one of those hunting trips and the rest of the defense catches polio, that team isn't going 5-11.

With one defensive player already sidelined for the season by leukemia, I don't know that I'd be tempting fate like that.

* Ever wonder who would win between the 1998 Vikings and the 1996 Packers? Of course you have. Maybe you've even simulated the game in some version of John Madden Football. But have you ever wondered who would win if the two teams faced off in Tecmo Super Bowl?

I have to hand it to the creators of this video, and others like it, playing a full season of games pitting top historical teams against each other. (The Vikings/Packers game comes around the 5:30 mark. I won't spoil it for you, but justice is served later in the video, when the 1998 Falcons lose.) The editing and commentary are far better than I would have expected, too. Now, if I only knew how they did it...

* Continuing the video-game theme, what player holds the all-time record for the two-minute drill in Madden 2002? If you guessed, Daunte Culpepper, you'd be right. But I'm not talking about someone using Daunte in the game.

Actually, I am. Sort of. Nice to see the man's keeping busy, no?

* Imagine if, midway through the season, the Vikings lost Adrian Peterson, Jared Allen, and Steve Hutchinson to injury. Then you'd know what the Atlanta Braves feel like, having lost their three best players (Tim Hudson, Chipper Jones, and Brian McCann) all in the last few days. McCann should only miss a few days after suffering a concussion Sunday, while Chipper's been placed on the 15-day DL and Hudson is likely done for the season.

Oh, toss in that John Smoltz's last pitch for the season was on June 2 and that'd be like losing Kevin Williams around week 6, too. And they'll probably trade away Mark Teixeira (Vikings equivalent: Matt Birk?) in the next few days. OK, then the team might go 5-11.

* While I think that paying Joe Nathan -- a player who will pitch approximately 1/20 of his team's total innings -- $11 million per year is a little ridiculous, it's not as bad as paying $7.5 to $10 million a year to a guy with 112 touches last year and whom opposing teams can purposely avoid. But I guess when you're the Bears and you have only one actual scoring threat on your team, you need to make sure he's happy.

Congratulations, Devin Hester. Now that you're financially set for life, feel free to follow Dante Hall's career path from "godlike return man" to "fifth wide receiver."

* Finally, after starting this post with such a disturbing image, I thought I'd end it with something nicer:


That's Jenn Sterger, who, in addition to looking good in a referee's uniform (insert "I'd like to commit a personal foul on her" joke here), was a regular columnist for SI.com in 2006 and 2007...aaaaaaaaaand, she posed for Playboy. I try to maintain a PG-13 blog here, but you shouldn't have too much trouble finding more...interesting...pictures of her, if you so desire.

Jenn, if you're reading this, I'd be open to the idea of a guest columnist some day, especially one with your, ah, experience...

Vikings get Berrian (oh, and Tapeh)

The Vikings made another big free-agent splash this weekend, inking Bernard Berrian, probably the top wide-receiver available in free agency, to a six-year, $42 million dollar deal, with $16 million of it guaranteed. This is the deal so far in free agency and it will, for better or worse, make a major impact on the team for years to come.

As I mentioned in Friday's post, Berrian is the top wide receiver available despite not yet registering a 1,000-year season in his career. Also, at 27, he's a touch older than one would like and may not have the durability to finish out his contract in productive fashion. And he's only had three 100-yard games in his career yet will be paid like one of the top wide receivers in the league.

Now I'll find some good news. First of all, Berrian will be a major improvement over any of the wideouts the Vikings currently employ, though that's not too difficult. His 71 catches last year are 17 more than the top Viking receive (Bobby Wade) from 2007 and even his 51 grabs in 2006 would have nearly put him at #1 on the Vikings' 2006 squad (Travis Taylor, 57). And all this comes with a quarterback situation that, at the least, was as confused and disjointed as the Vikings' over the last two years.

And Berrian has speed. His career 14.6 yards per reception for his career shows that, and, even though he only managed 13.4 last year, that still would have ranked him #1 on the 2007 Vikings among players with at least 20 catches. I know what you're saying now: "Hey, wasn't Troy Williamson fast?" Yes he was, to the tune of a 13.5 yard-per-catch average, a full yard less than Berrian. And, while I can't comment on precisely how good Berrian's hands are, I don't recall seeing too many highlights (or lowlights) of him making crucial drops on easy passes. In his three years with the Vikings, Williamson made 79 catches, only 8 more than Berrian had in 2007 alone.

There's little question that Berrian is good; the debate centers around on whether he's that good. Is he worth $7 million/year? On the bright side, this is the NFL, so there's always wiggle room on that front. Only $16 million of the deal is guaranteed, so, if Berrian flops, the team won't be on the hook for too much money. Plus, the team had the cap room, so why not use it?

Finally, it could be argued that no team needed a big-time wide receiver than the Vikings. Berrian won't transform the team into the next coming of the Greatest Show on Turf but if teams have to respect his speed and deep-play threat, that should open up more holes for Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor and teams won't be able to crowd the box to stuff either player. It's still questionable as to whether Tarvaris Jackson will be able to get the ball to Berrian with any consistency, but it sure beats throwing deep to Williamson and Robert Ferguson.

In the end, the Vikings probably did overpay for Berrian's services. Even if he plays out his entire contract, he's unlikely to put up Pro Bowl-caliber numbers for much of that stretch. But by addressing the team's #1 off-season weakness while not significantly impacting the team's ability to pursue other free agents (and sign draft picks), Zygi Wilf and the rest of Vikings management has to be applauded for at least taking what appear to be the right steps.

* In less splashy news, the Vikings also signed former Golden Gopher fullback Thomas Tapeh, late of the Philadelphia Eagles, to a five-year, $6 million deal on Friday. Tapeh will probably take over lead-blocking chores from Tony Richardson, who is an unrestricted free agent. Tapeh, who used to open holes for Marion Barber in college and for Brian Westbrook in the pros, is also eight years younger than Richardson and, while not the same caliber of receiver, might actually be a better runner and blocker, at least at this stage of their respective careers.

I like this move. It giving the team a hometown talent (sort of -- Tapeh was born in Liberia) for the fans to cheer and pairs Adrian Peterson up with a man who can (hopefully) serve as his "bodyguard" for years to come, like Lorenzo Neal and LaDainian Tomlinson of the Chargers. While consistency on the offensive line is important, I think that the camaraderie of a fullback and tailback is often overlooked in the NFL. For the tailback, it helps to know what the man in front of you is capable of and how he'll block for you, and for the fullback, it helps to work with the same kind of back, day in and day out, so you'll know when he likes to cut it in, when he likes to bounce it outside, and so on. The Vikings needed to find a replacement for the aging Richardson and in doing so, found a very good blockade-runner for their most valuable player, at a reasonable price.

* And in case you missed it, Randy Moss is entertaining offers from anyone -- and wants to reunite with Daunte Culpepper. The Bears are minus their top two wide receivers (Berrian and Muhsin Muhammed) and don't have any long-term plans at quarterback. Do ya think? Nahhhh...